“I've had insomnia most of my adult life, but Chaos Calmer really works to help me relax and 'turn off' the day when I get into bed.”
Susan F. Happy Customer.
Chaos Calmer
Calm, Cool, and ready to Conquer!
Chaos Calmer Cream - 60-70 pumps - 50ml
Anti-anxiety, brain soothing cream
When you can't catch your breath, catch a break, or catch up... You need Chaos Calmer. With it's proprietary blend of GABA, L-Theanine, and Magnesium, it takes you from Nervous Nelly to Wonder Woman: y'know, calm, cool and collected (and kicking ass). GABA is a calming neurotransmitter, Magnesium helps relax muscles and helps produce GABA in the brain, and L-theanine is an amino acid which has a calming, grounding effect on the body and mind without making you feel drowsy. Chaos Calmer takes your days from bedlam to bliss. Great for everyone over the age of 1.
PARABEN FREE ● CRUELTY FREE ● MADE IN THE US
Save an ADDITIONAL $5 OFF your first bottle when you buy today!
(Coupon applied in cart - One coupon per customer)
100% Satisfaction Guarantee
You can't sleep - even with melatonin.
You can't focus - even with coffee.
How are you supposed to be productive at all?!
We’ve got you covered, with the science of soothing.
Your brain waves have gone crazy, and your mind is going a million miles an hour, but when you try to do anything your brain can't focus or function... which leaves you feeling overwhelmed. You can end up feeling jittery and anxious, suffering from unpleasant side effects like heart palpitations, cold sweats, and an inability to think clearly.
You think to yourself, 'I know what I need... Just a good night's rest...'
When you're short on Zzz's, you can go from sweet to sour, and no amount of caramel lattes can help...
What happens to the brain when we are short on sleep? Well, brain fog, memory issues, mood disruption, as well as elevated cortisol, and a greater likelihood to reach for sugary treats to stay energized.
At bedtime, we fall into a sea of pillows and blankets, sure that we will drift off and wake the next day feeling like a Goddess... Instead, you lie in bed tossing and turning for hours, and wake up feeling like the Crypt Keeper with a hangover.
The worst part? None of the solutions you're told to try actually help...
Tired of hearing things like, "Drink coffee! Take sleeping pills! Just workout..."?
Chaos Calmer contains three key ingredients: Magnesium, GABA, and L-Theanine.
Magnesium helps to relax muscles and produce more GABA in your brain. GABA calms your brain by blocking excitatory signals in your central nervous system (your brain and spinal cord).
GABA is thought to play a major role in controlling nerve responses associated with anxiety, stress, and fear.
L-Theanine is an amino acid that has a calming, grounding effect on the body and mind without making you feel drowsy. This allows you to slash your to-do list in half because your brain isn't scattering in 12 different directions!
Even more amazing is that you can use Chaos Calmer during the day for calm and focus as it decreases overwhelm and anxiety, and at night as it helps you relax, feel calm, and stops the brain spinning to help you sleep deeply. Double win!
Horse size pills that get peed out. Antidepressants that come with 92,427,833 side effects.
Not exactly great solutions are they? Whilst some supplements and medications do offer some relief, the bottom line is that many of them don't target the brainwaves to improve brain function, AND they can come with horrible side effects.
The unique proprietary blend of Chaos Calmer, combined with its topical delivery system, makes it a fast, effective treatment for those feelings of anxiety and overwhelm. No taxing the liver. No peeing out $100 worth of supplements. Just a smooth slide into calm clarity that allows you to bring your A-game to everything from your to-do list to your snooze list!
Surrounded by stressed out sisters, cranky coworkers, and a sleepy sweetheart? Our cream can help!
When it comes to feeling 'tired-wired', you're not alone. Have you ever seen a three year old go from laughing to complete meltdown in .002 of a second? You're feeling the same way, you're just not allowed to have public meltdowns (well, technically, you are!), but you don't.
Chaos Calmer to the rescue! It is safe for anyone over the age of 1 - meaning you can use it when your hubby is stressed about work, your sister is stressed about her kids, and on your grandkids when they're having DEFCON 1 level freak outs.
Take the Chaos to Calm Challenge!
Chaos Calmer ACTUALLY targets the neurons in your brain to bring clarity and focus, all while reducing feelings of tension, allowing you to get to that deep breath out as you relax.
Say goodbye to stress, sleeplessness, and overwhelm with Chaos Calmer!
Frequently Asked Questions
Can men use Chaos Calmer?
Yes, the ingredients in the cream can apply to anyone who is experiencing insomnia, anxiety, sleeplessness. There are no hormones in the cream and it is safe for men to use.
Can kids use Chaos Calmer?
Children over the age of 1 can use Chaos Calmer. The active ingredients in the cream are appropriate for children experiencing anxiety and overexcitability. A little known fact is that some food sensitivities or environmental contaminants can elevate levels of glutamate – one of the excitatory neurotransmitters. Elevated levels of glutamate can make it hard for a kiddo to sit down and pay attention. The GABA, l-theanine, and magnesium in Chaos Calmer act to restore balance in the brain.
Does it contain hormones? Can I use it with Silky Peach?
Chaos Calmer contains no hormones. It contains magnesium (a mineral), l-theanine (an amino acid) and GABA (a neurotransmitter). This means it is safe for men and women of any age, and children over the age of 1. It also means you can use it with any of our other products that do contain hormones, such as ReBounce, Silky Peach, or Vibrant Third, as there will not be any hormonal interactions.
Can Chaos Calmer Help Me Sleep?
Difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep can be due to a range of things. When stress levels are high, or when the usual balance of hormones and neurotransmitters has been affected by changes in hormones at menopause, that imbalance between calming neurotransmitters and excitatory neurotransmitters can make it hard to get to sleep and stay asleep. The GABA, l-theanine, and magnesium in Chaos Calmer act to restore balance in the brain and help the brain calm and settle to sleep.
Can Chaos Calmer Help With Stress?
Felt stress – whether it’s real (like a house fire) or imagined (like feeling overwhelmed) usually increases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. When these levels go up the body has a whole bunch of stress response actions that can then make stress feel worse. The GABA, l-theanine, and magnesium in Chaos Calmer act to restore balance and counteract the impacts of the stress hormones. Deep belly breathing can often do the same thing. Applying the Chaos Calmer can help kick start the calming effect. Chaos Calmer isn’t a long term solution for stress, but it can help in the short term while you learn how to be less affected by events that make you feel stressed.
Does It Help With Panic Attacks, Anxiety & Depression
A panic attack is an episode of sudden anxiety with an exaggerated bodily response to a threat or danger — whether it’s real or perceived. This sudden surge of intense fear or anxiety brings on specific physical and psychological symptoms such as heart palpitations, sweating, trembling or shaking, shortness of breath or feeling smothered, nausea or abdominal discomfort, choking sensation and even chest pain. These often reach peak intensity in just a few minutes. Serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine are chemicals that act as neurotransmitters or messengers in the brain. They send messages between different areas of the brain and are thought to influence mood and anxiety level. One theory of panic disorder is that symptoms are caused by an imbalance of one or more of these chemicals. The GABA, l-theanine, and magnesium in Chaos Calmer act to restore balance in the brain.
If you are on anxiety or depression medication, always mention if you have added other nutrients to your daily plan. Meds for anxiety and depression can be great in the short term while you get to the root cause of what is causing you distress. There are some drawbacks to using them long term so do discuss that with your doctor, who can help you taper off gradually. The GABA, l-theanine, and magnesium in Chaos Calmer will supplement what your body is already trying to make to restore balance in the brain. The combination can cause drowsiness so always test it out when you won’t be driving or wielding sharp objects.
Does It Help With Menopausal Joint Pain?
Many women find that after menopause they experience more joint pain. This can be due to changing levels of estrogen and progesterone. Low magnesium can also impact your pain perception as well as cause sleeping problems. Poor levels of this essential nutrient are very common during menopause due to stress and digestive weakness. Sleeping poorly is notorious during menopause and research has proved that sleep deprivation increases our sensitivity to pain. Magnesium is also needed to keep your muscles relaxed, so low levels can cause them to tense up and become tight and stiff, which can impact the muscles that control movement of the joints. In addition to helping calm the brain and supporting sleep, the magnesium and GABA in the cream also help muscles relax and thus, joints are less stiff and sore.
Say goodbye to stress, sleeplessness, and overwhelm with Chaos Calmer!
Here's how our Easy-Breezy Subscription works:
We know that some companies make it hard to cancel a subscription – that’s not us. Our mission is to save the world – one menopausal woman at a time (along with her family & friends)! If you decide you don’t need Chaos Calmer as an ongoing solution for anxiety, sleeplessness, and overwhelm, we understand. Five days before we send your order (every 2 months), you'll receive an email reminder about your upcoming shipment and a link to your customer portal where you can cancel, or push out your next ship date and change your shipment frequency.
Rather have us adjust your subscription for you? Just reach out to us through our "Contact Us" page or reply to any email we send you.
No hunting, no searching, we got you. Respect is where it’s at.
Note: Every person's body is different and results for your body may vary from what the people above have experienced. It's also possible that Chaos Calmer my not work for you at all.
Disclaimer: The information provided above is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Statements made have not been evaluated by the FDA nor are they intended to treat or diagnose. Any health concerns should be discussed and evaluated by your primary health care provider.
Parlor Games, LLC ● kate@parlor-games.com ● 5304 River Rd N Ste B ● Keizer OR 97303
RETURNS & REFUNDS
100% Money-Back Guarantee on First Orders
We want you to feel safe and confident trying any of our products. That's why we promise 100% money-back guarantee on the purchase price of the first bottle of any of our products. Balancing hormones DOES take some time, so please try it for 28 days. If after 28 days you are unhappy, or the product just hasn't worked for you, simply contact us and we'll process a refund of your full purchase price upon receipt. Sorry, shipping fees are not refundable.
Refund Policy for All Other Orders
If you order again and then decide not to use the bottle, we accept returns of unopened bottles with the seal unbroken within 21 days of the outbound ship date. Simply contact us, then ship the unopened bottle back to us (we do not cover return shipping costs). Once we receive the returned product in good condition, we will process a refund for the purchase price to the payment method you used at time of order. Shipping fees are not refundable.
Parlor Games reserves the right to update these policies at any time.
PRIVACY POLICY
Parlor Games' Commitment to Privacy
Your privacy is important to us. To better protect your privacy, we provide this notice explaining our online information practices and the choices you can make about the way your information is collected and used. To make this notice easy to find, we make it available on our homepage.
The Information We Collect
This notice applies to all information collected or submitted on any Parlor Games site (including but not limited to parlorgames.learnmore.io) and any Parlor Games Social Media pages. On some pages you may request additional information or place orders. The types of personal information collected at these pages are:
How We Use Information
We use the information you provide about yourself to process your orders and to contact you regarding your interest in Parlor Games’ products. We do not share this information with outside parties except to the extent necessary to complete an order.
We use return email addresses to answer the email and requests we receive. Such addresses are not used for any other purpose and are not shared with outside parties.
As a Parlor Games user, you will register through our shopping cart to complete a business contact information form.
Finally, we never use or share any personally identifiable information provided to us online in ways unrelated to the ones described above without also providing you an opportunity to opt-out or otherwise prohibit such unrelated uses.
Tracking Technology (“Cookies”)
Cookies are small text files placed on your hard drive when you visit a website, in order to track use of the site. Some websites use cookies to collect data regarding the functionality of the site or to help analyze browsing patterns and use of the site. The Company does use tracking technology (“cookies”) on this site to improve your user experience.
Links to Other Sites
The Company’s site may provide links to sites not covered by these Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. The Company is not responsible for how such third parties collect, use or disclose your personal information, so you should check their privacy policies before providing them with such information.
This website may contain links to Internet websites (“third-party websites”) that are not maintained by the Company. These links are provided solely for your convenience. The Company makes no warranties or representations about the content of any products or services offered by, or the intellectual property compliance of, such third-party websites. The Company recommends you take the time to read the privacy policies and user agreements of any third-party website.
Choice
If you do not wish to receive information about our services or products, you may opt-out by sending an email to parlorgamesproducts@gmail.com and let us know.
Our Commitment to Data Security
To prevent unauthorized access, maintain data accuracy, and ensure the correct use of information, we have put in place appropriate physical, electronic, and managerial procedures to safeguard and secure the information we collect online.
Miscellaneous
The Company may, in its sole discretion, revise its Internet policy at any time. Any failure or delay by Company in enforcing any provision of its Internet policy will not be considered a waiver of such provision and will not prevent Company from enforcing the provision at a later date.
In accessing portions of the Company shopping cart requiring a User ID and Password, you agree that: the Company is entitled to act on instructions received under your User ID and Password, and the Company is not liable for any unauthorized access to your personal information that is not the direct result of gross negligence or intentional misconduct on the part of the Company.
You must keep your Password confidential and you must notify the Company immediately if you believe anyone else has obtained your Password or if any unauthorized access to the restricted portions of the Company website has occurred or may occur. The Company may block access to the restricted portions of its website without prior notice if we believe your Password is being used by someone other than you or if any unauthorized access to your personal information has occurred or may occur.
Disclaimer of Warranties
The content and materials on any of our pages are provided “as is” and without representations or warranties of any kind, either express or implied. The Company expressly disclaims all warranties, express or implied, with respect to these pages including, but not limited to, implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, and non-infringement. The Company does not warrant or represent that the functions or operation of these pages will be uninterrupted or error-free, that defects will be corrected, or that this website, its servers, or any e-mail sent from the Company are free of viruses or other harmful components. Because some states do not allow a disclaimer of warranties, the foregoing disclaimer may not apply to you.
Limitation of Liability
The Company shall not be liable for any injury, loss, claim, or damage, nor any indirect, special, incidental, or consequential damages of any kind, whether based in contract, tort, strict liability or otherwise, which arises out of the use of, or inability to use, this page or the content found on this page, or, unless resulting from the gross negligence or intentional actions of the Company, the unauthorized access to or alteration of your transmissions or data, even if the Company has been advised of the possibility of such damages. Because some states do not allow a limitation of liability for certain damages, the foregoing limitations may not apply to you.
Jurisdiction / Enforceability
Use of this website is governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of Oregon without giving effect to any principles of conflicts of laws. Any dispute concerning this website is subject to the venue of a court of competent jurisdiction in Deschutes County, Oregon.
Should any provision of these Terms and Conditions of Use be held invalid, unlawful, or unenforceable, then the invalid, unlawful, or unenforceable provision will be severed from the remaining provisions, and such invalid, unlawful, or unenforceable provision will not affect the validity or enforceability of the remaining provisions.
How to Contact Us
Should you have other questions or concerns about these privacy policies, please send us an email at:
kate@parlor-games.com
Note: Personal information consists of anything that would be used to uniquely identify, contact or locate a single person.
updated 5-25-21
Parlor Games reserves the right to update these policies at any time.
TERMS & CONDITIONS
100% Money-Back Guarantee on First Orders
We want you to feel safe and confident trying any of our products. That's why we promise 100% money-back guarantee on the purchase price of the first bottle of any of our products. Balancing hormones DOES take some time, so please try it for 28 days. If after 28 days you are unhappy, or the product just hasn't worked for you, simply contact us and we'll process a refund of your full purchase price upon receipt. Sorry, shipping fees are not refundable.
Refund Policy for All Other Orders
If you order again and then decide not to use the bottle, we accept returns of unopened bottles with the seal unbroken within 21 days of the outbound ship date. Simply contact us, then ship the unopened bottle back to us (we do not cover return shipping costs). Once we receive the returned product in good condition, we will process a refund for the purchase price to the payment method you used at time of order. Shipping fees are not refundable.
Damaged Products
If your bottle was damaged during delivery, you must IMMEDIATELY document the damage by taking a photo of the shipping bag and the bottle. Then, contact customer service to send us the photos of the damage and we will send out a replacement. Bottles damaged during shipping must be reported within two (2) days of delivery.
Shipping Timelines
We do our best to get your order out to you within 1-3 business days, however, for products which are not immediately available in Parlor Games inventory, orders may take longer to ship to you. If your order cannot ship out within 3 days, we will email you to let you know
Incorrect Shipments
If we have shipped you the incorrect product, that’s our bad. We will re-ship the correct product provided you have not broken the seal on the incorrectly shipped product(s). Take a picture of the incorrect shipment and contact us immediately. We'll ship out the proper product and send you a return shipping label so you can return the incorrect product to us. Unfortunately, once you have broken the seal on the product, it's yours to keep, and to replace the product will require you to place a new order.
Missing Shipments
If the tracking number shows your order delivered to your shipping address but the package has disappeared, Parlor Games is not responsible for that loss. If you have any concerns that a package may be stolen before you have the time to get it, please provide a shipping address you are confident will be safe and secure.
International Shipments
International shipments do not qualify for any refunds or returns. All international sales are final.
Parlor Games reserves the right to update these policies at any time.
Disclaimer: The information provided above is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Statements made have not been evaluated by the FDA nor are they intended to treat or diagnose. Any health concerns should be discussed and evaluated by your primary health care provider.